Victims of Domestic Violence
following information has been developed to help the stalking
victim in dealing with a traumatic and confusing situation.
Be aware that the situation in which you are involved may never
be resolved to your satisfaction or to the satisfaction of
Remember that not all of the suggestions given here will
be suitable or feasible for all situations. By no means is
the information given here a complete list. Each case is to
be analyzed individually, as no two relationships are the same.
Not including cases where the parties have children in common,
the following ideas should be thought about in each case. Talk
with your local domestic violence program or law enforcement
about additional safety precautions if you have children in
- End all communication with the person who is stalking
you. You may need to write a letter stating that the person
is putting you in fear, that you wish all contact to stop
immediately, and that you will contact law enforcement if
further contact is made. Consider having your attorney send
a registered letter to this effect.
- Keep a log. Write down all details of the relationship
history. Include all information you know about your stalker.
Write the dates, times, and detailed summary of each incident.
- Keep track off any incidental or unusual occurrences such
as hang up phone calls or acts of vandalism. Keep all letters,
gifts, or other tangible pieces of evidence. Give them to
- Do not try to intervene or interfere with a law enforcement
investigation. Cooperate with the police and give them as
much information you can.
- Do not allow family members or close friends to intervene.
Persons with good intentions may cause more harm and increase
your level of danger.
- Be realistic when considering a protective order. Examine
both the positive and negative aspects. Make sure the limitations
of the order are well understood to prevent a false sense
of security. A protective order is only a piece of paper
and cannot guarantee safety.
- Seek help from law enforcement, your local law enforcement,
or victim witness.
- Train yourself to be more aware of your surroundings.
Trust your instincts in a potentially hazardous situation
and use preventative safety methods.
Safety in the home
Ask your local law enforcement to come look at your home
and possibly offer more safety ideas. Here are a few…
- Remove outdoor shrubs that could provide hiding places.
Install outdoor lights around your entire home, especially
at entryways, balconies, patios and driveways. Make them
high enough that someone cannot reach them in a standing
- Install motion detecting lights for areas less traveled.
- Redesign fences and gates to lock from inside your property.
- Keep all exterior gas, power and telephone boxes locked.
- Use proper deadbolt locks and keep garage doors locked
at all times. Install an electric garage door opener.
- Install wide-angle mirrors, “peep-holes”,
or other viewing devices in all doorways to the outside of
your home. Never open a door until you identify a safe visitor.
- Post a NO SOLICITORS sign. Never accept door-to-door solicitations
- Install a lockable mailbox, or use a post office box for
all your personal and business mail.
- Sliding glass doors and windows on older homes will require
additional reinforcement. Talk to a locksmith.
- Place inside lights and a radio on a timer system to make
it more difficult for someone to tell if you are home or
- Window treatments should be designed to make it easy to
see out, not in. Stand outside your home at night and see
if you can look inside. Ask a friend to help.
- Think about installing an alarm system. Many are now affordable
through leasing programs. At a minimum, an independent monitoring
company should monitor the system, have an alarm that is
loud and sounds outside the home, and allow you to turn the
system on from your bedroom before going to sleep.
- Maintain fire safety by installing proper smoke detectors
and all-purpose fire extinguishers in you home.
For more information e-mail Hotline@vsdvalliance.org. E-mail is not a secure form of communication. To ensure confidentiality please call the Family Violence & Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.838.8238 (V/TTY).